Jan 4, 2017

I've Moved!

Hello dear readers!

If you'd like to continue following my journey, you can find me over on my new blog:


I'm looking forward to seeing you there! 


Jul 13, 2016

A journey to self love, acceptance, self worth, and healing

Self love, acceptance, self beauty, self worth, self anything really has been almost non existent in my life. That is, until recently when I realized that needed to change. I remember one time as a teenager looking in the mirror and admiring my hair, but quickly checking myself because "If I love my hair too much, "God" would take it away." (That was true for a lot of things...my husband, my children, my home, etc. If you love anything more than God, his (God's) only choice would be to take it away.)

As you can imagine, that does a number on one's self esteem. It leaves no room for anything having to do with self for fear of loving one's self too much and becoming vain or self absorbed. 

The past year, and more recently, the past few weeks, I've been exploring what it means to truly love and accept myself. To love me for me. And to see me not as a sad, broken, messed up, bad, ugly, hurting, _______, or ________ human but instead as...

BEAUTIFUL
WORTHY
ENOUGH
WHOLE
LOVELY
GOOD
TALENTED
PERFECT
WONDERFUL
AMAZING
INCREDIBLE
GODDESS

COMPLETE 
SUFFICIENT
AMAZING 

GORGEOUS
  

I was having a really hard day a few days ago seeing any of this. I sat on the couch in the living room while the kids napped and sobbed. Chuck came and sat next to me and spoke truth into the situation as I sat there and tried to argue with him and tell him how wrong he was. I finally started to calm down and Chuck told me "I have an idea." (I always love his ideas.) "I want you to pick out something that will be a tangible thing for you to hold or wear or whatever to act as a constant reminder of this shift. A reminder of who you truly are." (He said that it couldn't be something that could go away - so no candles or incense or anything like that.)

That evening we went to a couple of our favorite local shops and browsed around. Nothing called to me. Nothing had that spark of "This is it!" And so we came home without anything. I'm not going to lie; it was kind of sad.

I was feeling pulled toward a ring. Something I could wear everyday and would see anytime I did anything. I took a peek on Etsy (my fave!) and quickly discovered that I loved the electroformed style with a raw looking stone or crystal. As I was browsing, I opened up a few different ones that I thought were really beautiful. I had decided beforehand that I didn't want to do any research into specific stone properties or meanings - I just wanted to intuitively choose a stone. 

I particularly loved a peridot ring I stumbled across. It was gorgeous and in the exact style I was drawn to. I knew that this stone was the right one for me.

Peridot (pronounced pair-uh-doe) is formed in molten rock on the earth's upper mantle and brought to the surface by earthquakes and volcanoes. Peridot is also found in comet dust! Aside from being drawn to it's beauty, I am also drawn to the properties of peridot, which I started researching after reading a brief Etsy shop description. Here are the ones that I felt spoke to me:

  • Peridot alives emotional burdens, guilt and obsessions
  • Peridot is beneficial in helping to overcome fear
  • Peridot is helpful in releasing resentment 
  • Peridot is helpful in instilling confidence in one's own abilities
  • Peridot is beneficial for reestablishing a sense of self-worth
  • Peridot is helpful in attuning to cycles and helping regulate them
  • Peridot helps dissipate negative patterns and vibrations 
  • Peridot is a stone of transformation 
  • Peridot is a vital guide in facilitating the healing process 
  • Peridot helps discharge emotional issues 
  • Peridot helps alleviate fear, guilt, anxiety, and impatience 
  • Peridot relieves the heaviness of the heart
  • Peridot relieves self doubt caused by betrayal in past relationships 
(For extensive reading on peridot, see this site!)

After a bit more browsing I came across the shop I knew I wanted to buy the ring from. (Check out RockDoveRings here!) I am excited to wear this ring as a reminder to my heart of who my truest self is.


I am still learning about self care and how to give time and grace to allow myself to explore this new area. I would love to hear about how you practice self care in your day to day life. <3 Do you have specific mantras you repeat to yourself or special practices that you do everyday? Aside from this ring, journaling is a big one for me. Getting all my thoughts and feelings out on paper is very therapeutic for me.

Happy journey, dear friend! 

May 20, 2016

Recipe: Sustaina-BALLS